Some disjointed thoughts
I’ve been trying to write a blog entry for the last hour. Just typing and thinking and venting and such. Most of it ended up in my personal journal instead, and I’m back at square one on this tumblr.
The gist of it is that I’m exhausted. I’m really happy. I love a lot of things about my life right now, but I’m just damn tired. I’ve spent the few spare hours I’ve had to completely relax in the last two weeks watching mini-marathons of Bones with Curtis and forgetting about everything else.
In addition to Halloween, it was my nephew’s birthday yesterday. And I just miss home. I don’t get homesick often or for very long. It comes in short, painful spurts. Unfortunately I’m still smarting from this particular bout of it. Why can’t I be one of those people who’s content to work and live near where they grew up? Why do I have to yearn to travel all over the world and live in states and cities I’ve never even visited?
I’m still trying to find some balance at work and in my personal life. The usual question: At what point am I standing up for myself versus not helping when others need it? At times I’ll start to feel like a doormat, but I’m a giver and a hard worker. I don’t want to become a jerk just out of principle; it’s not me. But I can’t exhaust myself trying to always be there for everyone all the time. Because then I just tire myself out and get angry when people flake on me.
I guess that covers most of my thoughts lately. I’ll write a separate entry and include some pictures from my friends’ wedding in Iowa last weekend.
Love.
